


Akira Kurusu and the HOA of Yongenjaya

by WeirdoWithABeardo



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, don't tell Akira what to do, i fear for what Haru has to deal with when she takes over, tho sketchy akechi had it coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 23:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11172045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdoWithABeardo/pseuds/WeirdoWithABeardo
Summary: After wanting to leisurely enjoy his experience in the neighborhood of Yogenjaya, Akira Kurusu receives a complaint. This is not a request to take down an ornament. This is a request for war.





	Akira Kurusu and the HOA of Yongenjaya

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Garden Gnome Complaint](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/298692) by Shit Rough Drafts - Tumblr. 



> Fully based off of the amazing post found here: http://shitroughdrafts.com/post/146944018068/april-8-2015-dear-mr-kerin-it-was-brought-to

April 8, 20XX

 

Dear Mr. Kurusu,

It was brought to my attention by your neighbor, Goro Akechi, that you have two garden gnomes on your front lawn that were not approved by the HOA before installation. Please adhere to the guidelines (see Appropriate Lawn Decor on page 3) and remove them within five business days, or you will be fined.

Yogenjaya is a beautiful neighborhood, and we keep it that way by sticking to these rules!

Thanks!

Makoto Niijima, HOA President

 

April 9, 20XX

Dear Mr. Kurusu,

Mr. Akechi emailed me this afternoon and informed me that there are now five gnomes on your front lawn. He also said that they are all facing his house.  
I don’t know three extra gnomes showed up (unless they’re breeding LOL), or why they are now facing his house. But please be advised that you are now in violation of our Allowed Quantities of Lawn Decor rule (see page 7).

You have four days until you are fined. Please address this issue ASAP.

Thanks!

Makoto Niijima, HOA President

 

April 10, 20XX

Dear Mr. Kurusu,

I drove by your house this morning on the way to drop my sister off at work and saw your lawn. There are now over a dozen garden gnomes in your yard, all facing Mr. Akechi’s house. A few of these have been placed in sexually suggestive positions. I do not think garden gnomes come in these positions, which means that someone (I’m not saying you) placed them as such. Regardless, they violate the board’s rule on Appropriate Lawn Décor Positions on page 9.

Mr. Kurusu, you have three days left to comply with the board’s rules, or you will be fined.

Are you getting these emails?

Thanks!

Makoto Niijima, HOA President

 

April 11, 20XX

Dear Mr. Kurusu,

I was emailed a picture of your lawn this morning by your neighbor Goro Akechi, and was surprised to find that there are now close to thirty gnomes in your lawn. Not only are they all staring directly at his house, they are now also sexually explicit. After a quick Yahoo search, I could not find any store that sold such “X rated” gnomes. This gives me the impression that you made them yourself.

Mr. Kurusu, I don’t know where you’re getting the time or the money to create these monstrosities, but they will not be tolerated. We have children in this neighborhood.

Please be advised that you have two days left before incurring fines.

FYI you are now also in violation of our Sexually Explicit Lawn Décor rule on page 17. Until today, I was not aware this rule even existed.  
Thanks!

Makoto Niijima, HOA President

 

April 12, 20XX

Dear Mr. Kurusu,

I was woken up by a phone call from Goro Akechi at 6AM this morning. He was threatening to call the police. We have never had the police called in this neighborhood. Not even once. I calmed him down and went over to see what the problem was.

Mr. Kurusu, the only time I’ve ever seen an orgy was in the movie Caligula but the scene your gnomes depict on your front lawn makes Caligula look PG. The gnomes are in positions I haven’t ever even imagined, and even if I could have imagined them, I wouldn’t have done so with gnomes! 

There are over one hundred of them. I could barely see any grass through the limbs and appendages of the disgusting little men.

One gnome in particular is wearing a shirt that says “Goro Akechi” on it and it is wearing a horse mask. Two other gnomes are treating him like a horse.

This is in direct violation of an HOA rule that the HOA just decided to make. Please see Sexually Explicit Depictions of Neighbors as Lawn Decor in the new edition of the HOA guidelines attached as a PDF.

You have until tomorrow, Mr. Kurusu. Also, Goro Akechi has called a lawyer.

Thanks!

Makoto Niijima, HOA President

 

April 13, 20XX

Dear Mr. Kurusu,

I don’t know how you did it, but thank you for removing all of the gnomes. I’m glad we could avoid getting the authorities involved!  
Since you managed to do it before five business days, there will be no fine, just a warning.

As a reminder, please do not place any decorations in your yard without direct approval from the board.

Thanks!

Makoto Niijima, HOA President

 

April 14, 20XX

Dear Mr. Kurusu,

It was just brought to my attention that there is a bright pink decorative flamingo in the middle of your front lawn.

I have also been informed that this lawn flamingo is wearing a thong.

If you do not remove this flamingo within five business days, expect a follow up from Haru Okumura, as she is taking over as HOA President. As of today I have resigned.

Thanks!

Makoto Niijima


End file.
